Why people have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with evils, cause sorrow, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, money, age dissimilarity, religious education, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking affair. I suppose generally though it is only the human nature, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but society also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your relatives or anybody else? You would need to reduce the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest cluster, huge in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your finances are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair from time to time solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sadly this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, frequently the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a tones of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe caring is not here, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed separately, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair